Category: Dating and Relationships
I got the idea for this board because of a conversation I got into, that kind of went bad. Have you ever wanted kill yourself, because you were in a realtionship, and the relationship, this is to say you were tho one that seriolsy hurt in the end? For me this has never happened, but I am interested in what others think of this, and all that.
I think whether someone is a kid or an adult, their feelings are real and valid. Whether someone thinks of taking their life over another person, or just over feeling an incredible sense of loneliness, it's all valid to that person. A great example of living in an emotion is when someone gets angry, and says hurtful things. They can go back later and say that they were just mad and said it out of anger, and that they didn't mean it, but most of the time, if someone is that angry, they mean what they say while they're in the grip of their anger. Same with a suicidal tendancy. Tomorrow, the impulse might not even be there, but for the moment, it's totally real and all consuming.
And now, to answer the question, yes, I've been there, more than once. Just remember that our hurts end up making us stronger, and that there are always lessons to learn. What we do with the knowledge is up to us, and makes the difference between having a positive outlook or a resentful attitude.
Exactly. What won't kill you will make you stronger.
I've neverr had that happen, but love is a very powerful emotion. some people have more adictive personalities, and such a powerful emotion, when not reciprocated can lead to suicidal thoughts. You find that in people who are adicted to hard drugs such as heroine, since they bring out much the same chemical in the brain.
Now I am not one to push what I believe on people, but I honestly don't believe that a single person on this earth is worth me killing myself over, because things might not work out betweet us. Others might, but that's them. I think if 2 people are in a realationship, and it doesn't work out, then it obviously wasn't supposed to be a relationship in the first place.
Call it love or obsession, take your pick, but you're still pretty young and just might not have experienced it to the magnatude that it would change your mind, and hopefully you never will.
after thinking about it, I thought maybe I should clarify. As I've said, I've been there, and ultimately decided that killing myself over it wouldn't really be worth it, otherwise, I wouldn't be here today. All I'm saying is that while you're in the grip of the emotion, it's very real and valid, to you. Have you ever been in so much pain that you just wished that you could lie down and die to get away from it? Some people may not be able to relate to this yet, and still others may never be able to relate.
i agree that when your in the moment, the emotions are real to you, but i've never wanted to kill myself over a person. a situation, yes, but not a person. i look at it this way, whatever pain i'd be going through at that time, is nothing compared to what my family would go through iff i just killed myself over one person. i mean, think about it. your family wouldn't understand why you just went and killed yourself over a person, they'd just blame themselves for not seeing the signs, and personally, i don't think it's worth taking my life over one person, even if they were the "love of my life".
So, when you were in the moment, your judgement totally clouded by the blinding pain you feel, you've never once thought it would just be easier to die? I'm not saying that it's right to kill yourself, only that most people have thought about it for a second or two in their most painful moments.
Love can cloud one's judgement.
No...never thought anyone was worth killing myself over.
I don't think the thought is to kill yourself over the person, but the emotion after the relationship or the bump in the relationship. So one might consider killing themselves to do away with the shame of whatever they did wrong. Thinking of killing oneself over shame is not thinking of killing themselves over the person. One might feel ashamed because they put a person through emotional or other pain and anguish, they might have caused more problems with that person that they could have fixed, if only they'd seen them as problems.
Am I making any sense?
Yes, perfectly. Well put.
For me, it depends how the relationship has ended. I haven't had much experience with this, but I would think that if you ended the relationship for whatever reason, whether it was because of pain or other factors, there would probably be some guilt involved, in which case the pain would be worse, but if it wasn't your fault at all, and the person hurt you, sure, it would hurt a lot, of course, and you'd probably wonder what it was about you that would cause the other person to do that, but in the end, that person probably didn't deserve you anyway, and you'll find someone better.
Yes, but guilt is always floating around.
Yes, it is, a little too much, I say.
I can say, I have only tried to take my live one time, and that wasn't because of a relationship going south. It was because I felt alone, and I thought that killing myself would make it all better, then I snapped out of it, because I see suicide as being incredibly selfish, no matter what the reason. Pluss God made you, and gave you life, what good would to just end it. Now relationship wise, when the last relationship ended I felt pretty bad, I was unable to eat, but I never ever wanted to kill myself. I just was hurt, and i couldn't eat, and my sleep was all messed up. After all I was with the guy I was gonna spend my life with. So that's where I am at on this whole thing.
Hmm Play girl, I had that thinking at one time but sense went through wait this topic is talking about with someone, no not my wife. I agree hopefully you never!, nver! feel like life is hopeless and death is so peaceful. I tell you, its the most scarey and lonle feeling ever. Let me cleare tis up by saying I don't feel like th9is now or here lately cause I am in a healthy r4elationship but it does happen to people and the feelings are so fricken real.
hmm to add to this topic a little more I belive its not love that pushes you to killing yourself or thoughts of it, lust, obsession and something like that. True love does not cause these thoughts. I say this cause as a married person these thoughts do not come up and even when we were dating through all of the droma caused, I did not have suiside thoughts. Keep in mind this is just my experances
It definitely hurts though when a real, long term relationship ends though, no doubt.
And none of us realy know what true love is...we all have an idea but we are not certain.
I think that if it were true love, in its purest form, the relationship would never end unless the two were pulled apart by death, and a lot of very spiritual people would argue that it doesn't end even then.
That's interesting...
It just doesn't make sense how people can say: I love you truly, and then turn around when something doesn't work out and say: Now I don't love you anymore. How is that unconditional?
Does true love exist if only one participant in the relationship truly loves the other, but not vice versa?
If you truly love someone and they start abusing you to all hell and playing mind games, will your true love for them continue to exist or eventually dwindle away?
I think that true love can be brought to an end via means other than death, just as I believe that true hatred can be put away. It is not easy to get rid of either emotion, but it can happen.
Because there is no such thing as unconditional love. Everything has conditions.
You can love someone without actually wanting to be with them.
I have, and will always love my father, but I don't really want to see him much.
Love is such a complex emotion. I do not love very easyly at all. In some form I may love, but actual love not offten.. Love hurts for sure. Has killing myself crossed my mind yes, but for many reasons. Will I do it no. I try to stay away from others and take the space I need.
I think staying single for awhile after a painful break-up is probably a good thing, especially if you're having thoughts of suicide. It's totally normal to hurt, but I think it would be in your best interest, as well as any other possible partners, for you to stay single until your emotions are healed.
Well ive neva thought about killin myself for someone. People come and go, uea it'll hurt but not forever... Besides its there lost tp let someone good go..
On some real shit, just last year my homegils ex bf committed suicide...for the chick he was with at the time. My homegirl was devastated. When they were together he trated her like crap but she loved him. Well the stayed as friends. So then he gets with some chick & she treated him like crap. He loved her but she ends up breakin up with him & he goes off & kills himself. He just wanted her. It sucks! & talk about karma being a bitch! Oh & he leaves behind a 6yr old daughter...
wow.
what was this topic about. doesn't matter. nice post.
to post twenty-eight, Damn, that's horrible. I'm sorry your friend had to go through that. Yeah, love hurts ... I think it's good to wait after a breakup to be in a relatinship with a new person. It gives you time to heal emotionally.
Not all wounds heal either. I've still got wounds from years ago, but I'm over it.
if possible, kiss and get along.
or,
kiss a scotch cup,
give a break,
keep yourself busy with something else.
and wait for a good time.
Raaj.